Rachel’s Story

Those who determine eligibility under presumptive legislation should spend a day as a nurse during a global pandemic to truly understand the challenges faced. Let me share a glimpse of one of my days in 2021, during the height of the third wave of the pandemic. My workload was overwhelming, and my job satisfaction was at its lowest. Each day felt increasingly impossible. There was more work than time, so I often worked during my time off just to catch up. Due to the ongoing pandemic, my patients and their families were upset about insufficient care and dwindling resources. I faced verbal threats and aggression almost daily. The messages I received were to “do the best you can” and “we can get through this together.” However, if I didn’t meet all the demands, there was the risk of harsh reprimands or humiliation. To cope, I pushed through, often overriding my own physical and psychological needs. I wasn’t sleeping or eating properly, had difficulty concentrating and making decisions, and experienced daily migraine headaches. I felt physically unwell and mentally numb.

“Trauma slowly erodes your well-being until it breaks you. It fractures your sense of self and undermines your self-confidence, leaving you detached, immobilized, and emotionally exhausted.”

I experienced a traumatic event at work that felt surreal, as if it were happening to someone else while I was present in body. I couldn’t process what had happened, so I pushed it out of my mind and continued my shift. Over the next few days, the warning signs my body tried to communicate, which I ignored, escalated into complete shutdown. I remember driving and contemplating how to end my suffering permanently, feeling as though there was no other way out. I didn’t just break; I shattered. In the aftermath, I have worked hard to piece myself back together, but I am forever changed.

Trauma slowly erodes your well-being until it breaks you. It fractures your sense of self and undermines your self-confidence, leaving you detached, immobilized, and emotionally exhausted. No job is worth sacrificing your life. After my injury, I seriously considered leaving the profession. Fortunately, I had mentors who supported and guided me through the healing process. I joined two nurse peer support groups and met weekly with other nurses facing similar challenges of moral distress and burnout. They offered understanding without requiring me to explain anything, creating a safe space for the difficult emotions of anger, grief, pain, sorrow, shame, guilt, and regret.

Now that I am back at work, the situation and working conditions haven’t changed, but I have developed a larger tolerance, a stronger support system, and the tools necessary for success. Since addressing my trauma, it no longer weighs me down. Without that burden, I find it easier to see the positive aspects of life; I am no longer trapped in destructive thought patterns. Instead of spiralling downward, I am moving forward. I have greater capacity than ever; I understand what it feels like to be lost and to not know how to find yourself again. It has been said that we are in the midst of a significant nursing resignation and mental health crisis. How can we improve the culture to encourage new graduates to stay and inspire others to pursue a career in nursing? Consider the costs of sick leave, high turnover, and the training of new nurses if we continue to be reactive instead of proactive.

How can we prevent our nurses from leaving the profession, losing their livelihoods, and, even worse, suffering severe consequences?

1. We need equity: Registered nurses, RPNs, LPNs, and HCAs must be included in presumptive legislation.
2. We require a care roadmap, similar to the traumatic psychological impact care model used for other first responders. Our workplaces must implement and adhere to the National Standard for Psychological Health and Safety.
3. We need peer support wellness programs led by nurses. This approach will help us engage with our peers early, allowing us to prevent, mitigate, and support each other through recovery. Timely, trauma-informed, and evidence-based treatment is essential.
4. We must expedite care so that injured nurses do not spend one to two months (or longer) proving their injuries, particularly since these injuries stem from the traumatic nature of their work. Early intervention leads to better outcomes.

The impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic have underscored the urgent need for robust worker protections. Workers globally cannot wait any longer for this to become a priority for governments and employers. It’s no surprise that many of us are experiencing similar symptoms; we are human beings, not superheroes, and we do not wish to be treated as such. Who will care for the caregivers? Are we truly disposable and easily replaceable? I hope not.